I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
false alarm, still single
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
