i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize