sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
