Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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