Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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