I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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