You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize