ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
