I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize