So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
