apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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