no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor