Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.