The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me