remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck