Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk