Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
