Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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