we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
