the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
