how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
