God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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