Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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