No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i came on her dog
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
