Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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