i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
