so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
