im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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