also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
