I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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