i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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