no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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