He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
