i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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