As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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