her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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