She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
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Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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