You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
