Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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