please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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