I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
