I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
