Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
