My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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