we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
