I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
