i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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