And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
