I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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