I wanna passion pit in your ass
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
