it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
