I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
