32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
