I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
