I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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