Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
