I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
