my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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