pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize